I have aspired to become an worthy example of sobriety, grace, and service. On May 18, 1988, I began my involvement in a 12-step program to address my issues with drug and alcohol abuse. On June 1st, 1992, I signed a contract with myself to create a nonsmoking environment. I was addicted to cigarettes, smoking a couple packs a day from the time I was 14 years old (the same year the incest ceased). Many years of psychiatry have helped me re-create an image of myself that is harmonious with who I want to be. I purposefully did not have children for fear of repeating the family illnesses. Relationships suffered and my only marriage failed miserably. I know from experience that I was as sick as my secret. Silence is dangerous – a real killer of the soul. I kept the secret until it became unbearable-I was 33 years old and suicidal most of the time by then. I suffered emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually from the abuse, my complicity and silence. Among other family dysfunctions, my only brother and I had an incest relationship for several years, beginning when I was 8 years old.
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